Eight From Residue: Dillon Sees Ana #8sunday #wewriwa

hchabjea

Good to see all y’all this week! Welcome to my place as well as the Weekend Writing Warriors weekly blogging event which entails just eight sentences. Mine this week comes from my current WIP, Residue. If you’d like to join in the festivities and share eight of your sentences or follow along and see what everyone else has to offer, go by Weekend Writing Warriors for the current list of participants as well as instructions as to how to chime in.

For my eight this week, I’ve chosen a bit of a scene in which the hero of the show, Dillon, sees the heroine of the show, Ana, for the first time in over a year. He and the team are conducting an extraction mission to bring her home, but it’s not been easy and the rules are in constant flux. He’s not exactly happy with what he sees…

After days of lying in wait, there she was. Ana stood in front of the window, her gaze darting from one point to another, seemingly searching. Dillon’s heart stuttered and his breath caught in his chest just as it did every time his heart recognized the woman he’d forever love and never have. Normally fire raced through him at this recognition. Today, ice seeped into the fibers of his soul.

“Why didn’t one of you tell me she looked so haggard?” Dillon demanded through clenched teeth as he assessed Ana’s frail frame and the dark circles under her eyes which radiated a desperation Dillon had only seen in the gazes of prisoners of war whom he’d extracted from some gnarly places and under the worst of circumstances. “If I’d seen her before today, before S3 changed the game, I’d have already scaled the side of that building and carried her down on my back.”

“And that’d be the reason,” Alex said over the wire. “We couldn’t risk you going all crazy stupid on us.”

Thanks for stopping by! Constructive criticism and comments always welcome. 🙂

25 thoughts on “Eight From Residue: Dillon Sees Ana #8sunday #wewriwa

  1. julieevelynjoyce

    Haha, love that last line! Really enjoyable snippet. My only critique is that I think the ‘Dillon demanded through clenched teeth…’ sentence runs on a touch too long. The wording is excellent, but I think it’d be stronger if you broke it into a couple sentences instead. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Julie! Thank you for the compliment and for the constructive critique. 🙂 My editor has to remind me often to be careful with the lengthy sentences. I do tend to get long-winded at times, and it helps me so much to have eyes on and seeing these things to so I can work toward mending them.

      Like

  2. Diane Burton

    Love the dichotomy of fire and ice. Great job showing his reaction to seeing her for the 1st time. And showing his personality when his buddy mentions him going all stupid crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

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