Eight from Recoil: Has Cord Bitten Off More Than He Can Chew?

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Happy #8Sunday, y’all! If you haven’t dropped by on a Sunday in a while, you’re in for a treat. Each Sunday, Weekend Writing Warriors hosts a blog hop in which the participants share eight sentences of a work and they wait with bated breath for feedback. Be sure to drop by the #wewriwa site HERE for a complete list of participating writers and instructions on how you can participate if you’d like to.

I’ve been sharing from my current WIP the last few weeks, Residue, which is book three in my S3 series. Today, I thought I’d switch it up a bit and share a few sentences from book two, Recoil, as I just shared this one with a couple of friends for evaluation. It’s been in the soak tank since before Thanksgiving and I’m almost ready to being round one of self-edits on it. So, without further ado…meet Cord from Recoil.

Cord McAllister had welcomed into his life women of all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds, and religions over the years. He’d thought he’d seen and experienced everything there was to know and realize about the female species.

He could not have been more wrong.

Nothing and no-one could have prepared him for the force who was the one standing before him now covered from head to toe in what he could only assume was powdered sugar. Every square forty-five inches and every ounce of forty-seven pounds of tawny toned, black-haired Lucy Wayland was the only female in history with the capability to take Cord to his knees in less than sixty. He knew she was under that thin layer of sticky silt clinging to her somewhere. The question was, what would it take to find her?

Actually, if he were being honest, she wasn’t exactly the only female to ever take him to his knees.

I hope you enjoyed a first glimpse of Cord and his conundrum named Lucy. Don’t be a stranger! If you’re liking what you’re reading on Sunday, jump over to the sidebar and sign up to follow the blog through email alerts when new content is available.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great week, y’all!

21 thoughts on “Eight from Recoil: Has Cord Bitten Off More Than He Can Chew?

    1. Hi Sue! This is my first share from this story so you’re not alone. 🙂 She’s definitely human. Lucy is five and Cord is her hulking body guard who’s never been around children, so he’s on the fast track to learning about them. I love to torture a hulking guy with a huge heart! Thanks for coming by today!

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  1. I love his reaction to her–sounds like he knows instinctively he’s met his match. But why does she weigh 47 pounds? That just seems wrong. Or that sentence was very confusing to me. Still, very interesting characters.

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    1. Hi there Jenna! Lucy’s a wee tot of all of six. 😉 Cord is her bodyguard who’s never dealt with kids. He has definitely met his match! I’m really glad I posted this today because it’s helped me nail down what I need to tweak. Thanks for visiting today Jenna!

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  2. The weight and the 45″ thing were very confusing.Made me wonder if this character is actually a pet animal? Maybe providing the blurb would help…at any rate, you have us asking questions, which is never a bad thing!

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    1. Stirring curiosity is always good! And I’m glad this was my share this week because I know what needs tweaked. This is actually book two in a series. If someone was reading from the beginning they’d know the answer to this question, however, if someone picks up book two first I need to change one key word. And this is excellent news for me! 🙂 Lucy is actually six years old.

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    1. She is indeed a child, Diane! 🙂 I have a bit of tweaking to do on that passage and that is why I love sharing with y’all each week. I get the feedback I need in order to improve things. Thanks for coming by!

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  3. julieevelynjoyce

    This is a really cool way to introduce a young character, but I agree with the others that a little more context would help. 🙂 One other quick note. For this line: ‘Nothing and no-one could have prepared him for the force who was the one standing before him now’, I would suggest omitting ‘who was the one’ and just writing it as ‘Nothing, and no one, could have prepared him for the force standing before him now.’ It’s a little less wordy and packs a stronger punch, IMO. Great job!

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  4. I think the concept is hilarious as hell! Love it! I totally got he was talking about a little girl. The only thing I scratched my head with was the sexual innuendo of bringing him to his knees, especially after he was just talking about women in a sexual way right before that… my first reaction was the creepy crawlies… or maybe I’ve been reading too much sexy-stuff in my books lately, lol!

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  5. This might be the second comment you find. I left one already, but don’t see it. I love that you show is this rough and aloof guy ‘s vulnerability, and that It’s a little girl. So many questions already… And that’s a good thing.

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